Do family arguments tend to ruin your holidays?
In this hyperpartisan world, it is really not surprising. It seems as if we have lost the ability to disagree without being disagreeable. But it is not completely our fault.
Stress & emotions can hijack logic, our differing vantage points can dramatically change understanding, even how we present information matters. Why? Because much our brain is optimized for efficiency instead of accuracy.
This little known fact can ruin our holidays as we end up needlessly fighting over differences of opinions, accidental tresspasses, small issues or simple miscommunications, instead of celebrating our love for each other.
For the sake of our family and friends, I hope this holiday, we remember to make our communication brain friendly and look at the intention of communication instead of reacting to what is said.
If tempers flare:
1. Deescalate
2. Try acknowledging their position.
3. Ask them to explain it and why they have it.
4. Try to see if you can accurately summarize their position.
5. Then tell them what you LIKE about their position and their passion.
6. Try focusing on the areas you agree on.
You can always express your opinions when everyone is calm. This way, you might actually get your point across.
With any luck, the holidays will ends in hugs instead of hate.
